Friday, January 14, 2011

What Secret?

Recently I observed a mother and a young daughter at a popular lingerie store known for its secrets. What should have been a memorable time with mother and daughter grew to include complete strangers. The girl was shopping for her first bra. 

The sales woman and mother took the girl to the back of the store and proceeded to measure her with a tape measure. The young girl, shyly complied by raising her arms. She then began to cry. 

A grown man and teen boy stood watching. It became apparent that they were total strangers. 

The mother impatiently told the girl to quit the tears and "get over it." 

I believe modesty is under attack in our culture. The girl may have been young but I think she had it right. Some things are meant to remain private. 

I have observed after raising three young ladies that the natural modesty placed in a young heart is under attack by new world standards and the media. 

I may sound like I am ranting but I have a problem with the number of young boys brought by moms into the lingerie stores. It has become a popular place to take guys on dates—the lingerie store—the one with the secrets?
Just when I thought I might be overboard on this subject I heard a news story about high school cheerleaders who complained about their uniforms; they thought they were too revealing. The adult school board had to hold a meeting to see if these girls were troublemakers or whistleblowers. 

Comments on national blogs pertaining to this story stated that young girls really want to dress with less. Some grown men said, fire the cheerleaders!

Vanity Fair provided me with the last straw, for this week anyway. They did photo shoots of ten-year-old girls dressed in provocative attire in sexy layouts. News pundits debated the morality of the shoot. 

They were all over the map from labeling it as fodder for perverts to tasteful art. 

So now it's my turn. Let young girls keep their modesty and their privacy. Don't assume they want to dress or behave provocatively. Don't exploit young girls in the media.

Jesus reminds us in Luke 2,  "Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come. It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble. So watch yourselves." 

Some things are meant to be private. God places a natural hedge around a young girl's heart. Moms and dads should fight to protect that inborn modesty. It's our job, given to us by our Heavenly Father. 
Need help in this area of raising young girls? Try these books:

Bringing Up Girls by James C. Dobson
Your Girl: Raising a Godly Daughter in an Ungodly World by Vicki Courtney
Five Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughters by Vicki Courney


  1. I whole-heartedly agree with you on this!!! I am sad when I see what the world would have our girls believe is acceptable. While my daughter is only three, we are teaching her even now to respect herself and that modesty is a beautiful trait. I am appalled when I see some of the clothes that are marketed to little girls...sheesh. Sorry, I'll hop down off my soapbox now too. :)

  2. Can't imagine taking boys into THAT store! We have two girls and have encouraged and insisted on modesty from the beginning. We are also instilling respect in our boys. The stories in your post are so sad. I feel for that little girl in the store. Not the most wholesome store for a first bra fitting! Sad.

  3. Oh my. I sometimes forget how bad it is out there. We never go to the mall; I find many of the stores to be almost as bad as the one you mentioned. So thankful we've been able to protect our girls' modest hearts...though they have been asking me lately who they will be able to marry. Given stories like these I sometimes don't know how to answer them.

  4. I agree with you on this, Rhodema. That store (or any other lingerie store) is no place for young boys. I read the story of the high school cheerleaders and I applaud their actions. It's nice to know that there are still some young girls who have modesty.


  5. I love that you posted this! I have a soon to be 13yr old. She has 3 brothers. She has learned quickly they are different species. Bless her sweet heart, she is wonderfully confident enough to change in the locker room after swimming and self-respecting enough to ask if she needs leggings/tights under her skirt. She makes me proud. The issue I have stems from being a mother of said 3 boys. Moms of daughters should understand that if you don't want my sons starring down the bra-top your daughter is wearing, perhaps a little more fabric would help. I'm doing my best to raise them to be respectful godly gentlemen, so help me out! They're less likely to stare at your daughter's rear if her shorts are actually shorts, and denim underpants! We have to work together as moms! They'll make close that cover all the right areas if we stop paying for the ones that don't! But that only counts if we dress with the same principles; WE need to be our daughter's guidelines in dressing- not Miley Cyrus.


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